Going into Father's Day with some big baby content. Plus recs for Sarah Wheeler on guy friends, Asher Perlman's book of cartoons, and Steve Hunt's historical trivia.
Happy Father’s Day! Being a first-time parent is truly magical. Now, about that Universal Child Care…as a former SAHM, I am not a fan. I firmly believe that one parent should be home with the kids until they are of school-age. Best years of my life. It doesn’t mean forgoing a career forever, only for a little while, with some very real sacrifices. Totally worth it. I am a professional, educated woman who is now the bread-winner of my household. This will date me, but there was a line in 30-something that I loved (I was a 20 something at the time and not yet a parent - just an overworked exhausted professional), “You can do it all, just not all at the same time,” (Said Michael to Hope). No judgement - please don’t misunderstand. I have plenty of friends whom I love and respect who successfully raised kids while both parents worked. But, like you, spending time just watching my baby was priceless (though i could have foreign much of the clean-up!). Why give that up if you don’t have to?
Hi Nard! Thanks for reading and for your comment. I love that you had such a meaningful experience raising your kids and also that you have friends who you love and respect who did things differently! I always appreciate when people can understand other people's points of view even if it's not how they would do things. And it seems to me like parenting is such a unique and specific experience to each family and situation that I would love to see everyone be able to make the choice and find the opportunities that work for them.
"You can do it all, just not at the same time" <---- good for me to think about!
Happy Father’s Day! Being a first-time parent is truly magical. Now, about that Universal Child Care…as a former SAHM, I am not a fan. I firmly believe that one parent should be home with the kids until they are of school-age. Best years of my life. It doesn’t mean forgoing a career forever, only for a little while, with some very real sacrifices. Totally worth it. I am a professional, educated woman who is now the bread-winner of my household. This will date me, but there was a line in 30-something that I loved (I was a 20 something at the time and not yet a parent - just an overworked exhausted professional), “You can do it all, just not all at the same time,” (Said Michael to Hope). No judgement - please don’t misunderstand. I have plenty of friends whom I love and respect who successfully raised kids while both parents worked. But, like you, spending time just watching my baby was priceless (though i could have foreign much of the clean-up!). Why give that up if you don’t have to?
Hi Nard! Thanks for reading and for your comment. I love that you had such a meaningful experience raising your kids and also that you have friends who you love and respect who did things differently! I always appreciate when people can understand other people's points of view even if it's not how they would do things. And it seems to me like parenting is such a unique and specific experience to each family and situation that I would love to see everyone be able to make the choice and find the opportunities that work for them.
"You can do it all, just not at the same time" <---- good for me to think about!
Thanks again for reading
You’re the best, Chris. Really enjoy your work and ruminations. Happy Father’s Day! Now go enjoy that family of yours!
dear chris,
HAPPY FIRST FATHER'S DAY! WOOOOO YOU'RE DOING IT!
some fun lines from your message this week:
"The most immediate change that I noticed in attempting a week of solo parenting was that there was no one else to hold the baby."
"No baby has ever fallen off the floor"
"Baseboards: The Musical"
love this, love you, thank you, thank... this?
myq
THANK THIS
Thanks Chris!! I wrote a follow up to that piece over on my substack, if you really wanna nerd out about it!