Wedding Registries are Perfect for Comedy
You can put anything you want on those lists and no one can stop you. Plus recs for Kelly Stout's friends, Sam Taggart's roast, and Lulu Garcia-Navarro on Robert Putnam
We are in the height of summer, which means we are also in the height of wedding season. I’m at an age where people are more likely to be having babies than getting hitched, but yesterday I happened to be sitting near a very rowdy group heading to their friend’s wedding. It made me think about one of my favorite parts of the process of planning our wedding.
It was the moment when I realized that, using Zola, the online wedding registry site Mollie and I had signed up for, we could put whatever we wanted on the registry (from any random online site). Perfect for my comedic purposes, I could also mark items as “already fulfilled,” which would make it seem to your wedding guests like someone else had already bought us whatever outrageous item I decided to link to.
Here’s what I did with that information:
My mom was genuinely concerned when she first saw the registry I had created. “Chris! Someone bought you over 20 gallons of coyote urine! What were you thinking???”
And I’ll tell you what I was thinking: none of my friends are ever going to run into a situation where they don’t have the coyote urine they need. Not on my or my helper monkey’s watch!
Mollie helpfully stepped in to tell my mom it was just a joke. When it came to the actual gifts, we got very useful and tasteful flatware and pots and pans. But when you put jokes on your registry, you’re going to get given at least a few out of the ordinary gifts. At our wedding, we received a nearly 3 foot tall scale model of the United States Capitol Building made entirely of chocolate and also a certificate for a guided tour of the Pez Museum in Connecticut. And both were a delight! Plus, years later, I’m still delighted by the fact that no one knows for sure we didn’t also receive a twenty-thousand dollar land cruiser/tank.
If you’re getting married (or know a recently engaged couple), I highly recommend adding at least one incomprehensible item to your registry. Maybe a giant body pillow that looks like a hyperrealistic loaf of bread? Or a taxidermied bat? They’re both on sale! Or maybe you want to celebrate your love by asking for a harness to take your pet chicken on a walk?
If you invite me, I’ll gladly supply all the uranium you need.1
My projects and upcoming events:
PODCAST: How to Be a Better Human (TED/PRX) - How do we communicate with people who we fundamentally disagree with? This week on the podcast, I talk with Alexandra Hudson about the difference between politeness and civility and how we might improve public discourse. Listen here (or wherever you get your podcasts)
AUDIOBOOK: Let's Hang Out: Making (and Keeping) Friends, Acquaintances, and Other Nonromantic Relationships - This is out now as an audiobook or e-book on Everand. You have to create an account to listen or read, but you can get a 60-day free trial with promo code ChrisDuffy60 or if you click this link it should automatically fill out that code.
LIVE IN NYC: Wrong Answers Only at Symphony Space - Thursday, September 19th at 7 p.m. Tickets are on sale now for my live panel show where a trio of hilarious comedians learns about the work a scientific expert does all day. At this show: an expert on computer security (topical!) and a panel of comics that includes Phoebe Robinson! Details and tickets here
This week’s list
GREAT:
Kelly Stout has a fantastic article out in Esquire now about how to make friends as an adult, a topic I have also been thinking (and writing) a lot about. “Americans have become terrible at forming and keeping friendships. But there must be somebody out there who wants to grab a burrito with me.” I Gave Myself a Month to Make One New Friend. How Hard Could That Be? (h/t Carley Moseley)
FUNNY:
Sam Taggart is so funny and also manages to always seem like he’s having a great time onstage, whether he’s breaking down straight culture on his podcast StraightioLab or doing a surreal, absurdist bit on network TV. Here’s a very fun moment from After Midnight which featured Sam going head-to-head with Gillian Jacobs, Alaska 5000, and Chris Fleming. Professional Comedians Ruthlessly Roast Normal Guy
INTERESTING:
“More than two decades ago, Robert Putnam became something rare: a celebrity academic. In 2000, he published a groundbreaking book, ‘Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community,’ in which he demonstrated, with copious data, that America was transforming from a nation of joiners to a nation of loners — we were going to church less, joining clubs less and, he warned, losing trust in our fellow Americans and our institutions.” Lulu Garcia-Navarro digs into what community looks like (and could look like) in the United States today with one of the academics who helped first identify the trends that now define our moment. Robert Putnam Knows Why You’re Lonely
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That's it for this week. Thanks for reading! Please share Bright Spots with anyone you think might enjoy it.
This week’s newsletter was written by my helper monkey,
Chris Duffy
This has been Bright Spots, a newsletter.
…wait, who are you?
I'm Chris Duffy, a comedian, TV writer, podcast host, and both a former fifth grade teacher and a former fifth grade student. I’m currently writing a nonfiction book about humor for Doubleday.
Attention FBI: this was a joke, please do not arrest me. I have absolutely no uranium, as far as I know.
This is super timely in MY life. Recently engaged and needed this example of
levity-involved planning. Brilliant.
Love this, Chris. Damn it if your registry idea isn’t nearly worth getting married again (though I don’t know who’s going to tell my husband). Excellent linked friendship piece, too - thanks!