Losing at the Podcast Awards
It's an honor just to be nominated... or is it? Plus recs for the international crab joke competition, Clarke Jaxton Motorbike and Olive Garden, and Fady Joudah's poetry.
This past Tuesday, I found myself wearing a tuxedo in an Uber headed to a Marriott hotel downtown. That’s right, I was finally going to a real Hollywood awards show! At least that’s what I was telling myself.
Nothing says glamour like an event that starts at 4 p.m. on a Tuesday. And no venue screams Hollywood success quite like the third floor event room in a mid-range hotel next to the freeway.
I was there for The Ambies®, “the fourth annual Awards for Excellence in Audio.” They are very big on branding and they never forget to include the registered trademark sign when they write the name of the awards.
Having written for television, I have a lot of friends who have been to the Emmys. They tell wild stories about the celebrities on the red carpet, the expensive gift bags, and the luxurious after parties.
Podcasting is not quite as flush. This was an event with a cash bar, no food provided, and multiple attendees wearing shorts and hoodies. At one point, I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom and eat trail mix I had smuggled in past security (no food allowed in the venue). The statue that winners receive looks a lot like an Emmy but it’s a human instead of an angel, and instead of a globe in their hands, they’re holding up a podcast mic. As we walked into the event, there was an 8 foot tall inflatable version of The Ambie® statue, but she was slowly deflating.
Before the event started, I was asked to walk the red carpet as a nominee. There were three photographers in succession. The first photographer told me, “Take your hand out of your pocket! If you’re going to wear a tuxedo, you better act like it!” This was news to me because I had literally just googled “men on red carpet” and was doing the pose that I saw come up (hand in pocket). The second photographer seemed satisfied with my hands by my side and a straightforward smile. By the third photographer, I was feeling comfortable and tried raising my eyebrows in a kind of “Oh hello” funny but still stylish pose. The photographer put down his camera and said loudly, “STOP what you are doing!” Then I was ushered off the red carpet and back into a line for $9 bottles of water.
How to Be a Better Human was nominated for “Best Personal Growth / Spirituality Podcast,” which was genuinely an honor and also very funny to think of myself as a comedian up against pastors for an award. Don’t worry though! We did not win.
On the plus side, I got to see a bunch of the folks from TED who work on the podcast but who I almost never see in person (since we make the show remotely and I record from a room alone in my basement). As a team, we represented and dressed for the job we wanted: award winners.
I got to see several old friends and colleagues. I’ve never been to another “audio event” so that was an unexpected delight.
Not unexpected, but also a delight, was watching my friend Ronald Young, Jr. sweep the awards and walk away with the most wins of anyone there.
Another delight was Trixie Mattel, who hosted the awards and got a huge laugh with her visceral disgust at the fashion on display. She also got a huge laugh by just saying “We are in a Marriott.”
But the best delight of all? I was home and in bed by 9 p.m.
My projects and upcoming events:
PODCAST: How to Be a Better Human (TED/PRX) - Krista Tippett, host of On Being, has long been an inspiration to me. It was amazing to get to talk with her and hear her thoughts on finding meaning, navigating a career where she’s tried to bring existential questions to the greater public, and the ways we can all keep challenging ourselves and growing. Listen here (or wherever you get podcasts)
LIVE TALK: TED Conference 2024 - April 15-19, Vancouver. I’ll be giving a mainstage TED Talk at the conference this year. Info and details on attending here
This week’s list
GREAT:
There is extremely important work being done by the heroes at the Crab Museum, “Europe’s first and only museum dedicated to the world of the decapod.” In addition to the exhibits, they have an outstanding gift shop featuring merch like canned sea breeze, mammal head warmers (hats), and temporary tattoos. But the best work they do is curating The World’s Funniest Crab Joke Competition. With rules like “lobsters may be mentioned in the set-up, but not the punch-line” and a panel of judges that includes some of the U.K.’s most famous comedians as well as a classroom of children, this is a competition that we all need to enter.
FUNNY:
This story, which went viral on TikTok, about a father who got his entire family permanently banned from The Olive Garden, has been making me laugh so much all week. The music! The writing! The twists and turns! It’s absolutely incredible. You need to watch this and experience the magic. Clarke Jaxton Motorbike - My Dad Got Banned from Olive Garden
INTERESTING:
Fady Joudah, a Palestinian-American poet and physician, has a new collection of poems out written over the past few months to help him process the monumental grief and suffering of this moment. This interview about his work and role of a poet and a doctor is thought-provoking and nuance. Fady Joudah in The Yale Review
His poem “Mimesis” is one that I know I’ll keep coming back to in the future (h/t Jocelyn K. Glei)
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Slowly deflating by the emergency exit,
Chris Duffy
This has been Bright Spots, a newsletter.
…wait, who are you?
I'm Chris Duffy, a comedian, TV writer, podcast host, and both a former fifth grade teacher and a former fifth grade student. I’m currently writing a nonfiction book about humor for Doubleday.
I tried to get a job as a seat-filler at the Ambies, but Kramer beat me to it.
This is the most beautiful, yet heartbreaking, yet hysterical, most visceral thing I have ever read:
“As we walked into the event, there was an 8 foot tall inflatable version of The Ambie® statue, but she was slowly deflating.”
And yes it’s an honor to be nominated and you should have won (forgive me, pastors.)