Masshole reporting in—I feel obligated to apologize for your typically Mad Max Fury Road experience in the fuckin Commonwealth, but also DO FRICKIN BETTAH NEXT TIME!! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU AHHR! NOMAHHR?! JEEZUZ H, KID! Sorry! I am obligated to say that part too. Please send help. We are not wickid great here. 🤷🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
This was great! You nailed Athens. I spent a few months there when my father worked on the Olympics. I made friends with the head of transport for the production company. He was a fifth generation Athenian taxi driver (his great great grandfather used a horse and wagon). Panos took me everywhere, usually on his scooter. Can’t tell you how many times I saw him literally tap another rider on the shoulder, say something in Greek, then make his way through a seemingly impossible traffic jam.
You also nailed LA! I laughed out loud at the guy’s comment about people. So self aware and yet so oblivious all at once. That’s the highest state of enlightenment for an Angeleno.
Speaking of LA drivers who are unaware that they are driving, I was driving Christina to work one morning. We were on the 101, just passing universal on our way into Hollywood. Traffic slowed. The man in front of us opened his door, emptied his bong water onto the freeway, closed the door, topped off the bong (bottled water I guess), packed it, sparked it, and was puffing out white clouds of pot smoke by the time we hit Highland. I was speechless. Christina said, “so… I guess that’s a high occupancy vehicle, right?”
Dallas freeways are a free for all, semis speeding full blast, numerous merging lanes, all drivers jockeying for position above the speed limit. When your gps tells you left turn, is it the immediate left turn, the two left turns at the normal left turn, the left turn that’s a little bit farther, or the left turn that’s close to the center lane? Construction absolutely everywhere. Took a wrong turn? I’ll hit it at the next street NOPE that’s a one way. Ok next one NAH UH one way as well. Next 12 streets all one way, stop at the corner gas station obvs you’re from out of town, they don’t understand your question and you don’t get the answer. Somehow you find your destination but oh the stress, sweat and aggravation. Nothing like driving in LA or San Jose.
This is 10 years ago, Dallas driving broke me. True Fact!
I live in a place where the traffic is pretty light. The biggest problem with traffic around here is that locals tend to drive right down the middle of the street. This can actually be a big problem, when you swerve to get out of their way and then swerve again to avoid hitting a tractor or a cow.
All things considered, I'll take driving here over the places you have driven. Thanks for the heads up!
David! Thanks for this comment. I was wondering, while writing this, about what it's like to drive every day in a less populated area. Now I know the answer is exactly like Mario Kart. Thank you! Please avoid the cows!!
i love this: "If there’s one gift that learning to drive in New York has given me, it’s constant anxiety. I never go a full minute while driving without the awareness that this is the most dangerous activity I’ll be involved in that day. I’m responsible for thousands of pounds of metal flying through space much faster than any living creature has ever evolved to move. It’s terrifying. As you can imagine, I’m a fun addition to road trips."
also, the guy who backed into you and then said "people, right?”
incredible!
and thanks for that scam-baiter article! i ALSO love when people who are trying to trick people get tricked. or do i? (yes. i am not tricking you.)
Masshole reporting in—I feel obligated to apologize for your typically Mad Max Fury Road experience in the fuckin Commonwealth, but also DO FRICKIN BETTAH NEXT TIME!! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU AHHR! NOMAHHR?! JEEZUZ H, KID! Sorry! I am obligated to say that part too. Please send help. We are not wickid great here. 🤷🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
Thank you for this comment and for fulfilling your legal obligations!!!
This was great! You nailed Athens. I spent a few months there when my father worked on the Olympics. I made friends with the head of transport for the production company. He was a fifth generation Athenian taxi driver (his great great grandfather used a horse and wagon). Panos took me everywhere, usually on his scooter. Can’t tell you how many times I saw him literally tap another rider on the shoulder, say something in Greek, then make his way through a seemingly impossible traffic jam.
You also nailed LA! I laughed out loud at the guy’s comment about people. So self aware and yet so oblivious all at once. That’s the highest state of enlightenment for an Angeleno.
Speaking of LA drivers who are unaware that they are driving, I was driving Christina to work one morning. We were on the 101, just passing universal on our way into Hollywood. Traffic slowed. The man in front of us opened his door, emptied his bong water onto the freeway, closed the door, topped off the bong (bottled water I guess), packed it, sparked it, and was puffing out white clouds of pot smoke by the time we hit Highland. I was speechless. Christina said, “so… I guess that’s a high occupancy vehicle, right?”
Hahahaha CHRISTINA! 10/10
Dallas freeways are a free for all, semis speeding full blast, numerous merging lanes, all drivers jockeying for position above the speed limit. When your gps tells you left turn, is it the immediate left turn, the two left turns at the normal left turn, the left turn that’s a little bit farther, or the left turn that’s close to the center lane? Construction absolutely everywhere. Took a wrong turn? I’ll hit it at the next street NOPE that’s a one way. Ok next one NAH UH one way as well. Next 12 streets all one way, stop at the corner gas station obvs you’re from out of town, they don’t understand your question and you don’t get the answer. Somehow you find your destination but oh the stress, sweat and aggravation. Nothing like driving in LA or San Jose.
This is 10 years ago, Dallas driving broke me. True Fact!
Oh wow, I can only imagine what Texas driving must be like. I feel your pain!
Stress, Sweat, and Aggravation would actually be a great song title though
Yes it would!
I live in a place where the traffic is pretty light. The biggest problem with traffic around here is that locals tend to drive right down the middle of the street. This can actually be a big problem, when you swerve to get out of their way and then swerve again to avoid hitting a tractor or a cow.
All things considered, I'll take driving here over the places you have driven. Thanks for the heads up!
David! Thanks for this comment. I was wondering, while writing this, about what it's like to drive every day in a less populated area. Now I know the answer is exactly like Mario Kart. Thank you! Please avoid the cows!!
dear chris,
another great one! thanks for sharing it all!
i love this: "If there’s one gift that learning to drive in New York has given me, it’s constant anxiety. I never go a full minute while driving without the awareness that this is the most dangerous activity I’ll be involved in that day. I’m responsible for thousands of pounds of metal flying through space much faster than any living creature has ever evolved to move. It’s terrifying. As you can imagine, I’m a fun addition to road trips."
also, the guy who backed into you and then said "people, right?”
incredible!
and thanks for that scam-baiter article! i ALSO love when people who are trying to trick people get tricked. or do i? (yes. i am not tricking you.)
love you!
myq
Thank you for not tricking me about what level of tricks you appreciate!!