We Got Wayne
Plus Sarah Marshall on justice, Séamas O'Reilly on family, and Illa Valenzuela-Oblitas on mutual aid
It’s a rough week to send out a newsletter called “Bright Spots.” But the impression I get from most readers is that, even when the world is a disaster, sometimes you need a laugh. So here we go.
This is an update from a previous newsletter that has completely blown my mind. When I got this information, my jaw dropped. I couldn’t believe it was real. But it was.
Several weeks ago, I wrote about my deep, undying love for Jurassic Park. A love so strong that I have now sat through all three of the Jurassic World sequels, despite the fact that they make absolutely no sense. In fact, the most recent movie (Jurassic World: Dominion) seemed like it was almost intentionally dedicated to creating as many enormous plot holes as possible. Here are just a few:
Every killer dinosaur is a vicious, bloodthirsty hunter UNLESS Chris Pratt holds up his hand in a “stop” motion and then they immediately freeze for… no reason?
No one else in the movie ever tries the hand thing until the very end and when the other guy does it, it works for him too! Why is anyone dying when they could just raise their hand?!
A huge plot point is that Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard are raising a daughter together. But that “daughter” is just a random girl they kidnapped from her dino billionaire mansion in the last movie and no one ever says “Hey, just FYI, you are not related to that girl and you probably should establish some sort of form of legal custody…”
I could rant all day. But let’s get back to this incredible email I received. I had written about a decades-long debate over whether this noise in the first Jurassic Park movie was created by the shaving cream can or Newman (the actor Wayne Knight).
Many of you wrote in with your own theories about who could have possibly created a squeak that incredible. What I never expected was that one man, a hero named Chris Hogan, would be able to get a direct line to Newman himself. Chris emailed Wayne Knight (they’d acted together on 3rd Rock From the Sun) and forwarded me Wayne’s response.
I will never recover. “All the verbal squeals are mine.”
If I never got another response to this newsletter ever again, it would all have been worth it. We finally answered the eternal question: Newman or The Can?
It. Was. Newman.
(Also I love knowing that Wayne Knight emails from an iPad and used his 3rd Rock character name as his signature. Incredible stuff!)
Shows (in-person and online)
ONLINE: How To Be A Better Human (Season 2) - Monday, June 27th. Season two of my podcast from TED and PRX starts this Monday! Link
WASHINGTON, DC: Live at the DC Improv - Sunday, July 31st at 7 p.m. I’m headlining this comedy show hosted and produced by the hilarious Kasha Patel. Tickets here
This week’s list
GREAT:
As the war on women notches a victory at the Supreme Court this week, I think one of the clearest voices about how media/culture/politics have failed to examine and think critically about misogynist narratives is Sarah Marshall. Her podcast You’re Wrong About is both entertaining and (for me at least) always eye-opening. She’s now taking her wildly popular show and “turning her attention from the maligned women of the past to criminal justice and the legal system.” You’re Wrong About’s Sarah Marshall on What Comes After Revisionist History
FUNNY:
I first heard about Séamas O'Reilly when I read his hilarious story about inventing an Icelandic fish festival. That immediately convinced me to buy his memoir, which is one of the funniest books I’ve read in years. It’s also a moving story about grief that never veers into cliché. Séamas’ mother died when he was five, “leaving him, his ten (!) brothers and sisters, and their beloved father in their sprawling bungalow in rural Derry. It was the 1990s; the Troubles were a background rumble, but Séamas was more preoccupied with dinosaurs, Star Wars, and the actual location of heaven than the political climate.” It’s a must read. Did Ye Hear Mammy Died?
INTERESTING:
Illa Valenzuela-Oblitas is a community organizer in London. Her story gave me a glimpse of hope that regular people can resist inhumane policies, whatever and wherever they are. “Last Saturday, ordinary people came together in Peckham to keep all of us safe. This is what mutual aid looks like.” How our community stopped an immigration raid (h/t The Ann Friedman Weekly)
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That's it for this week. Thanks for reading! Please help spread the word and forward Bright Spots along to anyone you think might enjoy it.
Wayne Knight has brought peace back to the kingdom,
Chris Duffy
This has been Bright Spots, a newsletter.
…wait, who are you?
I'm Chris Duffy, a comedian, TV writer, podcast host, and both a former fifth grade teacher and a former fifth grade student.