A Lot More Extraterrestrials Than I Expected
A journey to the center of LA's multi-dimensional, crystal-powered, alien and lizard community. Plus recs for Hanif Abdurraqib on Octavia Butler, Eli Grober satire, and an immigration update.
One of my favorite parts of writing this newsletter is that it encourages friends and readers to send me strange things they think I would enjoy. Almost exactly a year ago, my friend Rachel sent me a link to an LA Times article about L.A.’s wackiest spiritual convention in an email with the subject line “this seems up your alley.”
An annual gathering about multidimensional living, extraterrestrials, and giant tuning forks? I knew I had to see it for myself. So yesterday, I bought a day pass and drove to the LAX Hilton to see this convention for myself.
If you’re an Angeleno or familiar with the area, you’ll realize immediately that the craziest thing about this whole story isn’t the interdimensional aliens, vibrational healing, or even the giant $80k egg machine (I’ll get to that). No, the craziest thing by far is that I willingly drove to LAX on a Friday afternoon when I didn’t even have a flight to catch.
Luckily, I wasn’t alone on this journey across the city of Los Angeles and through dimensions, layers of reality, and outer space. I convinced my friend Leah, all-around great sport and brilliant writer, to join me. Leah and her sister created and hosted the Mystic Mother podcast, a serious journalistic examination of a woman who ran an alternative spiritual temple in Phoenix and got caught up with the law. Leah knows what she’s doing when she’s looking at far out mysticism, cults, and fringe belief systems. She’s also got a great sense of humor, which she immediately displayed by taking this photo while we waited in line to check in.
I’m sure there are people who can resist a clipart arrow and the words “Rabbit Hole” but I am not one of them. We headed there immediately after getting our wrist bands and free tote bags. It turns out that the Rabbit Hole was down an escalator decorated with the same type of LED light bands that featured heavily in every frat guy’s dorm decor when I was going to college.
When we got down there, a man immediately offered to give us a number reading and “life path zone code” based on our names. I had no idea what he was talking about but he said it was free and would only take three minutes so we gladly agreed.
I tried to get him to tell me his name by saying “I’m Chris, by the way” but he did not reciprocate. Instead, he gave a satisfied little smirk and said, “I had a feeling you’d give me your name.”
If I were him, I would have had a similar feeling since his whole booth was dedicated to doing a reading based on our names.
Anyway, after a rapid-fire process that involved opening and closing a book written in Hebrew, writing our names on the page in a different alphabet and then adding up their numerical value (I was 710 and Leah was 9), we were informed that we qualified for a special discount on the next steps in this process. Normally a $2000 value, we could get copies of each of his three self-published texts, a golden spiked orb used for “self-acupuncture,” and a 15-minute massage from his associate for only $192 or $200 if we both purchased. I thought there was something particularly funny about the fact that this package was ostensibly worth two grand, but if you bought a second one, it was only $8 extra.
Leah and I afterwards agreed that he had gone way too fast from intro to sales pitch. He hadn’t even explained any of the number stuff or made a real effort to get us hooked. I tried to give him another opening by asking him, since he was a numbers guy, if there was a special significance to the price being $192. He immediately said “Yes, of course.” But when I asked him what the significance of 192 was, he said, “The significance is that’s the value it’s being offered for today.”
It took all my might to keep a straight face. Truly a spectacular explanation.
Another funny thing that happened while we were sitting at his booth was another vendor wandered over and tried to sell us and number man some DVDs. The number guy had been speaking in this very calm, authoritative voice but then he broke character to yell at the DVD guy, “I’m in the middle of a reading right now!”
Overall, a lot of the energy of the room was that pretty much everyone down there was a potential cult leader but there were very few followers to recruit, hence the excitement when Leah and I sat down. Otherwise, it was just a bunch of guys with different spiritual aesthetics and proprietary technologies trying to schmooze with each other.
Leah and I decided to head upstairs to a session on how to “Activate Your 7D Avatar Self.” When we walked into the hotel ballroom where it was taking place, the session had already begun and, as far as I could piece together from context clues, the audience was engaged in a Q&A with a group of aliens who were speaking through the body of the workshop leader.
The questions the aliens answered ranged from extremely technical to broad life advice. The DVD guy from downstairs had made his way up and asked if the aliens agreed with “many scientists” that "the universe appears to be blinking on and off, for some reason.” The aliens did, in fact, agree! I personally liked that they were onboard with the idea that the universe functions like an internet router that somehow got unplugged. Another lady asked for advice about whether it was a problem to be seeing so many triangles in her daily life and the aliens seemed to think that was ok.
By this point, Leah and I were a) getting pretty hungry for lunch and b) pretty close to our maximum daily dose of higher level alien consciousness. We opted to do one swing through the exhibition hall and then head home for sandwiches. Here’s some of what we saw before heading out:
My overall takeaway was that L.A. truly is filled with people who want to be special and part of something big. This is the mecca for coming up with wild new ideas and getting other people to buy into them, whether that’s a Hollywood blockbuster or the Manson family. As we walked out, Leah said, “there’s a lid for every pot.”
But Leah also pointed out that there’s a darker side to a lot of these fringe beliefs. We didn’t see anything that was explicitly QAnon, but a lot of the alien stuff was referencing ideas that have been linked to radicalization. It was also unclear to me how seriously people were taking this stuff. How many people are just trying to sell some $192 books or polished gemstones in the shape of praying mantis skulls and how many are true believers? I don’t know! But I’m certainly not driving back to LAX to find out.
If you’re a subscriber to this newsletter and you want to talk more about this or see more photos, let me know and I’ll write up a bonus post.
My projects and upcoming events:
PODCAST: How to Be a Better Human (TED/PRX) - Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks, is on the podcast this week talking about how to accept limitations and make the most of a finite life. You can check out the conversation here (or wherever you get podcasts).
LIVE IN LA: Wrong Answers Only at Dynasty Typewriter - THIS MONDAY, February 10th at 7:30 p.m. Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, so I’m interviewing a scientist who studies relationships and attraction. Join me, Karen Chee, Lily Du, and Lisa Gilroy at the most scientifically romantic comedy show in town. Tickets are onsale now.
LIVE IN NYC: How to Be a Better Human live at On Air Fest - Thursday, February 20th at 3:30 p.m. I’m excited to be part of one of the biggest podcasting festivals and even more excited to be interviewing the new host of Normal Gossip for a special live taping all about how to tell a juicy story. Details here
This week’s list
GREAT:
Last week, I recommended Octavia Butler’s Parable of the Sower and Parable of the Talents, which I had just finished and loved. This week, I read Hanif Abdurraqib’s new essay about “Octavia Butler, the L.A. fires, and the uses and misuses of the things that cannot be recovered.” Like just about everything Hanif writes, it’s the kind of beautiful writing that cannot be summarized, you’ve got to read it for yourself. Lessons for the End of the World
FUNNY:
Eli Grober is a comedy writer and the author of This Won’t Help: Modest Proposals for a More Enjoyable Apocalypse. He’s one of the finest purveyors of satire working today and his latest piece is both hilarious and unfortunately accurate. Finally, the right people control our money: a person
INTERESTING:
In another follow-up from last week’s newsletter, I went to an immigration event this week where a series of experts and activists explained their perspectives on the current situation. One point an immigration lawyer made that I thought was important (and new to me) is that, from her perspective, there has not been a significant change in terms of actual deportations and actions. The changes have mostly been in the media coverage and public statements, which are intended to get people scared and feeling unsafe. She said she certainly wouldn’t rule out things getting much more extreme, but she also warned not to fall into a trap of creating unnecessary terror and anxiety for people at risk. Relatedly, here’s an article in The Guardian: US immigration is gaming Google to create a mirage of mass deportations
That’s not to say you shouldn’t push back and take concrete steps to protect members of your community without secure legal status! But also, it’s a good reminder to think critically about the motivations behind what is being said and what is being done.
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That's it for this week. Thanks for reading! Please share Bright Spots with anyone you think might enjoy it.
Next time I interdimensionally travel, I’ll be flying out of Burbank.
Chris Duffy
This has been Bright Spots, a newsletter.
…wait, who are you?
I'm Chris Duffy, a comedian, TV writer, podcast host, and both a former fifth grade teacher and a former fifth grade student. I’m currently writing a nonfiction book about humor for Doubleday.
Put us in The Egg!!!!
Somehow reading about the LA extraterrestrial convention and rabbit hole was comforting to me. Wacky people that make paper mache eggs and try to sell numerology seem innocent and non- threatening in this time of proud boys and Nazi sympathizers who are shredding democracy. I digress. Yes, would love to see more pics and more stories of this convention. Once I happened upon a “plush” convention where everyone was dressed in animal costumes. The passion was palpable. Oh to believe!!!! Thanks for bringing innocence back.