Having An Existential Crisis On Your Birthday
Nadia Pinder wonders what it would take to right her metaphorical boat. Plus recs for Jes Tom's show, L'Pod's jokes, and Safia Elhillo's poetry.
A NOTE FROM CHRIS: I am currently out on parental leave. Each week, a new celebrity guest writer is taking over Bright Spots. This week’s newsletter is being written by Nadia Pinder. Nadia is a standup comedian and the founder of StuyDYED, a very fun custom tie-dye fashion company. Nadia is one of the most creative and positive people I know, always having a blast on stage and in her creative pursuits. That energy is contagious and delightful, as I think you’ll see in today’s edition. This is getting scheduled to go out on my actual birthday, so you’ll be reading this on a perfect date to imagine me, just like Nadia, having an existential crisis.
And now, let’s hand things over...
NADIA TAKES OVER BRIGHT SPOTS:
This month was my friend Steve’s birthday. This year, during the usual “suss out the birthday vibe” convo, Jess (his fiancée + my best friend) and I asked the typical questions about cake and activities. Normal. He evaded answering directly. Also normal. BUT, in a refreshing twist, he turned the line of birthday questions on us and what he asked me in return has been stuck in my head for days.
Because his birthday falls 11 days into the new year, there’s typically a feeling of “new year, new me” resolutions and productivity in the air. He asked us “if you had 11 days to right your ship, what would you do?” A little over a week to use however I wanted to get myself “ship shape.” I gave an answer (sorry, you can only know the detailed answers if you’re in our group chat entitled “The Tripod”!) that was centered on rest and relaxation. His answer sounded like the most stressful 11 days I could imagine in my life. His 11 days were filled with work, personal administration, rigorous exercise, and most disturbing, filing his taxes. Mine had salt baths and regular naps.
If I had 11 days to do exactly what I wanted, I would relax. Normally I avoid rest. I’ve got work to do! But if I’m given 11 days as a gift, I would power down my electronics and [redacted - Tripod groupchat eyes only] all day long. In these hypothetical 11 days, I have no day job and always enough money to spend on joyful things. Not nary a one administrative task is done.
Perhaps I SHOULD be more productive with my time. Try to manage my (TikTok diagnosed) ADHD better and spend more time on my taxes. Those freelance expenditure spreadsheets aren’t going to finish themselves! And I haven’t been gifted 11 days to do as I please - even though technically I’m an adult with free will and COULD spend the next several days charting a new path for myself. But I’m grateful for the thought experiment as a reminder that I am the captain of my ship. Maybe it’s a silly ship. A pleasure cruise. I can trade it for a speedboat or a tugboat when that’s what my heart desires. (You can trade a cruise ship for a speed boat right? Seems fair!)
When it’s my birthday I’m going to ask Steve something that sends him into a self-reflective spiral. Until then, I’m going to keep floating along and gently steering my nondescript ship.
This week’s list (Nadia’s Version)
GREAT:
The great Jes Tom just wrapped their show Less Lonely and it was perfect. They are hilarious and sincere and honest and such a beautiful storyteller. If you missed it you can go to their show website and email them “please please bring it back I need you!!”
FUNNY:
I came across L’Pod through a tie dye connection. I have a tie dye biz called StuyDYED and I made a hand dyed backdrop for a promo photo shoot with the podcast hosts Gabby and Zack. It is, in my opinion, delightfully chaotic gremlin “it girl” joy and I love it.
INTERESTING:
I’ve been trying to consume more music and poetry in Arabic to remind myself of the beauty of the language. Then a friend shared this poem with me by a Sudanese woman. The poem is called "Vocabulary" by Safia Elhilio and in it we learn that the word for wind and love sound the same in Arabic. Definitely worth a read.
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That's it for this week. Thanks for reading! Please share Bright Spots with anyone you think might enjoy it.
Gently steering a nondescript ship,
Chris Duffy (but mostly Nadia Pinder!)
This has been Bright Spots, a newsletter.
FOR MORE FROM NADIA: Check out Nadia’s tie-dye business here. Nadia occasionally teaches storytelling classes, so if you’re in Brooklyn and interested, click here for the details and stay tuned for new dates. And if you’re in the NYC area, look for Nadia performing standup all around town! She’s hilarious.
…wait, who are you?
I'm Chris Duffy, a comedian, TV writer, podcast host, and both a former fifth grade teacher and a former fifth grade student. I’m currently writing a nonfiction book about humor for Doubleday.
dear nadia and chris,
another banger of a beautiful dispatch as always!
some favorite moments included "If I had 11 days to do exactly what I wanted, I would relax" AND that beautiful poem "vocabulary."
thank you for sharing it all!
love
myq